Subject: Krazy Klaus' Kustard Spellbook
From: [email-masked]
Date: 30 Jan 93 17:47:39 GMT

In case the nickname above does not work, my email adress is:
[email-masked]

These are a few spells the mage in our group (Krazy Klaus the Mysterious Manic
Mystic) wants to research for his spell book. We thought you might appreciate a
read, and the DM would also like to hear if you think the spells are too weak,
or powerful for the levels suggested. Any comments would be welcome.

Well, here goes-

Name: Klaus' Krazy Kustard Pie (1st) (Conjuration)
Range: 40yds+5yds/lvl
Components: V,S,M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting time: 1
Area of effect: 1 creature 
Saving throw: Neg

With this spell the caster conjures a gooey custard pie which (s)he can hurl at
one creature within the spells range. The caster must roll to hit the creature,
ignoring its armour, but dexterity and magical bonusses apply. If the caster
hits, the pie has struck the creature in the face, and the creature must make a
saving throw vs Spell, or be blinded. The creature must spend 1d3 rounds
clearing its face.
The target is unlikely to appreciate this, especially if the caster gloats. The
material component for this spell is a small amount of custard consumed in the
casting. Being hit alone is enough to disrupt spellcasting.

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From: [email-masked] (Iain Clarke)
Subject: Krazy Klaus' Spellbook II (The revenge)
Date: 1 Feb 93 14:50:01 GMT

In case the nickname above does not work, my email adress is:
[email-masked]

A few days ago I posted a custard spell. Unfortuneately I forgot to post the
rest of the ones we'd done at that point! Oh well....
Here's some more for all you custard fanatics out there!
Feel free to either mail me, or
[email-masked]  who actually plays Krazy Klaus.
ps. Whoever keeps the net.spell.book, these are for you as well! (Sorry, but
I can't remember your email adress). On that note, could someone mail me with
the ftp site for the new spellbook?
As ever, thanks for your attention.

And now, the spells!.......

Name: Klaus' Kunningly Krafted Kustard Pie (2nd)  (Conjuration)
Range: 200yds
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 10 rounds
Casting time: 2
Area of effect: 1 creature
Saving throw: Neg

This spell is similar to Klaus' Krazy Kustard Pie, but it is capable of homing
unerringly on its target's visual apparatus, even rounding obstacles, however
far the target flees. It flies at speed 30, attacks with the caster's THAC0 and
can turn back for one attack every round until it hits, is destroyed or the
spell expires. It has AC 7 and will disintegrate on taking 4 points of damage.
Naturally, trying to evade the pie disrupts spellcasting.

=====================

Name: Klaus' Kustard Koloured Kollage (2nd) (Alteration)
Range: 0
Components: V,S,M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting time: 2
Area of effect: 5' x 15' x 30' wedge
Saving throw: Special

The material component of this spell is a blob of custard in each hand. When
cast, 1d6+1/level curling, intertwining layers of custard burst forth from the
caster's fingertips. The streams can first be aimed at multiple targets if
desired. Any creature hit by the custard must save vs. Spell or suffer the
effects of Klaus' Krazy Kustard Pie, and in any case is knocked down if hit by
enough custard (Tiny sized creatures will always be knocked down by one stream,
Small by two, Medium by four, Large by eight, Giant by sixteen). Subtract 20%
chance per stream below the required number, and 10% for each extra leg beyond
two possessed by the target creature.

=========================

Name: Klaus' Katastrophic Kustard Kascade (3rd) (Conjuration)
Range: 30yds+5yds/level
Components: V,S,M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting time: 3
Area of effect: 1' radius per level of caster, 5' deep
Saving throw: Special

With this spell a portal to the Prime Custard Plane is briefly opened, causing
a cylindrical volume of custard 5' deep to fall onto the target/s. At the time
of casting the wizard must specify at what location the portal will open.
Anyone caught in the cascade takes d3 damage per 10 yards the custard falls,
and suffers the blinding effects of Klaus' Krazy Kustard Pie. The targets must
make a save vs. Spell to protect themselves for half damage and prevent being
blinded. Each 10 yards above the targets that the portal appears adds +1 to the
saving throw roll, and if the modified roll is a 20+ they escape entirely.
Anyone in the custard has their movement rate divided by 4 for the first round
and 2 for the next three, assuming the custard is free to flow away. The
material component is a pinch of custard powder (dried milk/eggs) thrown in the
air. It MUST be completely dry.

========================

Name: Klaus' Kontagious Kustard Kough (3rd) (Necromancy)
Range: Special
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 1 day
Casting time: 2 hours
Area of effect: Anyone infected
Saving throw: Neg.

When this spell is cast on a small amount of custard or custard powder, it
becomes infected with a mildly contagious cough capable of affecting one
humanoid (not the spellcaster) on contact within the spell's duration. The
custard can be delivered by any means including using it as the material
component for another Kustard-type spell. The victim must save vs. Poison
(at +2 if none of the custard is at all ingested) to resist the effects. The
illness causes frequent but mild coughing fits which expel small amounts of
custard instead of phlegm. Humanoids near the victim must also save at +2 when
coughing is going on. Anyone who saves is immune to that particular casting of
the spell. The illness has a short duration of only 6d8 hours and an incubation
period of 1 hour. Every round there is a 50% chance that a victim will be
affected, unable to cast spells and with a -4 penalty to hit.

======================

Name: Klaus' Kreeping Korroding Kustard (3rd) (Alteration)
Range: 2'/level
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 10 rounds
Casting time: 1 round
Area of effect: N/a
Saving throw: 1/2

From a small dollop of custard, this spell creates a mobile blob of corrosive,
slow-moving custard about two feet in diameter. It can change its form and move
at a speed of 4. It has 5 HD, AC 8 and a THAC0 of 16, and corrodes things it
comes into contact with (see Puddings, Deadly for other general details). This
effect is weak and will not take effect until the end of the round after
contact. The affected area will smoke (if metal), sting (if skin) etcetera
giving warning and time to try and remove the remaining custard. Damage to
creatures is 2d6, halved by a successful save vs. Acid. The blob is unlikely to
destroy a heavy obstacle such as a thick metal door or stone slab during the
spell's duration. The blob is controlled by the caster, but does not need to be
actively concentrated on to continue with its task/s and can be instructed
during the round of casting. After the spell expires, the custard reverts to a
normal dollop.

========================

Name: Klaus' Killer Kustard Koypu (3rd) (Alteration)
Range: 15 yards
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 4 rounds + 1 round/level
Casting time: 3
Area of effect: N/a
Saving throw: Special

This spell requires enough custard - which need not be fresh - to fill a small
bowl. The custard is expanded into 2d6+1/level custard-coloured coypu (large
beaver-like South American rodents). They will rapidly attach themselves to
the nearest humanoids (within 5 yards if possible, but probably only up to 3
coypu per person) and mill inquisitively around them wherever they go saying
'Nyip!' repeatedly in a most annoying fashion. Victims who fail to save vs.
Spell attack the coypu in preference to the real targets, unless the real
targets are attacking them as well. Spellcasters who fail an INT roll are
distracted. Coypu harassing a person will impede them, reducing their movement
rate by 3 per coypu. If they try to move faster there is a 30% chance per
round (for a medium-sized creature) of tripping over a coypu, 15% for large and
small creatures. If any coypu are attacked, harmed or have someone trip over
them, all coypu attached to the person in question will promptly become
slavering killer coypu and attack them until slain or the spell expires. They
have 1 HD, AC 8 and a THAC0 of 18 with one bite attack for 1d4 points of
damage. When the spell expires, they dissolve into gooey custard.

=======================

Name: Klaus' Kustard Kwicksand (4th) (Alteration)
Range: 0
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 1 hour
Casting time: 4
Area of effect: 3' radius/level, 8' deep
Saving throw: None

This spell is cast while pouring some sour custard onto the ground. The custard
spreads rapidly outwards and forms a circular quagmire; the caster can control
the rate of growth to give himself time to get away. The sides of the quagmire
are extremely steep, and the surface consists mostly of the material that was
there originally (albeit with a yellow tinge) making it difficult to notice
except for the smell of off milk. Creatures of Small size or larger falling
in will sink whenever they move significantly - probably submerging after
eight movements for Small creatures and four for Medium ones. Large creatures
will sink much faster, but the pit will probably not be deep enough to drown
them. Unless the victims can find something to pull themselves out with, they
will probably have to wait until the spell expires when they become trapped in
solid ground and must be dug out of whatever encases them. Move rate when
touching the bottom is 1, or 2 if an Open Doors roll can be made. If people
approach the quagmire they will suspect something if they roll a 1-2 on 1d6,
or (if hurrying) on a 1 only. If successful, a DEX roll will allow them to
avoid falling in, with a -2 penalty if there is nothing nearby to grab hold
of.

====================

Name: Klaus' Konvincing Kounterfeit Kustard Kwasi-Kurrency (2nd) (Alteration)
Range: Touch
Components: S,M
Duration: 2 hours +1 hour/level
Casting time: 2
Area of effect: 1 lump of custard.
Saving throw: None

The spell turns an equivalent volume of custard into 50 gold pieces per caster
level. The gold created is perfect in all respects, other than the suspicious
taste of custard.

======================

Name: Klaus' Kulinary Kustard Kreation (1st) (Conjuration)
Range: 1' /level
Components: V
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting time: 1
Area of effect: 4x4x4 inch cube per level
Saving throw: Neg.

This spell creates about 60 cubic inches of custard per caster level - useful
for getting hold of components for other Kustard spells.

=======================

Name: Klaus' Kustard Kounteracting Kloak (3rd) (Alteration) 
Range: Touch
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 1 Round/level
Casting time: 3
Area of effect: 1 Cloak
Saving throw: N/a

When this spell is cast on a cloak, then that cloak cannot be affected by
custard (magical or nonmagical) except that resulting from spells of 4th level
and above, and will move to protect its wearer. For example, if a large amount
of custard lands on the wearer's head, the hood (if down) will lift up and the
custard will run off. None of the effect will penetrate to the protected person.If necessary the cloak can totally seal up over the wearer's face to prevent
them being drowned by custard or blinded by a pie. It is advisable to use a
hooded cloak with this spell. The cloak turns custard-coloured for the duration
and returns to normal afterwards.

=======================

Name: Klaus' Kustard Kleanup (1st) (Conjuration)
Range: 1' /level
Components: V,S,M
Duration: 1 round
Casting time: 1
Area of effect: 5' radius/level
Saving throw: N/a

This spell is cast on a container, and over the duration of the spell all the 
custard within range of the container is drawn in towards it. Custard securely
contained elsewhere will not be able to move, and custard behind solid objects
may take some time to get around them; otherwise all custard in range will
probably be in the container (space permitting) within twenty seconds or so.
The container can be moved around to pick up custard from a larger area. This
spell would be useful for clearing up laboratories after failed attempts to
research other custard spells.
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